[ She frowns, raising her hand to her face and swiping her palm across her mouth thoughtfully. She lowers her hand again and lays it flat on the table. She wants to be angry with Wash for using Allison's name, for inserting himself that way with the use of the word 'we'...but he's not the one who inserted himself in this whole thing. He's not the one who appropriated those memories for himself, not the one who stole them away from Church.
She sighs. ]
I don't understand it all. I have to be honest about that. What was taken from him? What was left? I don't know.
[ Wash shakes his head; he assumed Epsilon was all of Alpha's memories. But if he still has some, at least of the Director's life and Tex... He has to wonder if those are just part of who Alpha is. Things that can't be taken away. Things that are just...in his programming. ]
Whatever the case, he's better off without what was taken.
[ He says it without really thinking, his voice still quiet as when he mentioned Allison. There's a concerned and slightly fearful look that crosses his face for a few moments, but then he manages to recompose and offer a shaky, rather bitter smile. ]
I feel like they might keep a person from functioning. Maybe even destroy them.
Whatever those memories have in them, I know you managed to push through.
[ She's not going to address the fact that Church is broken, and that's why he is without those memories. That doesn't seem much like a winning scenario to her. But at least he was able to protect himself. Washington didn't have that option, and so she needs to be understanding. ]
Anyway...if you need anything...I'll do what I can to help.
[ It's a bit reluctant, because yes, she's a bit mad at his future self for deciding to use an EMP on her, but holding that over his head wouldn't really be fair. ]
[ He's quiet for a few long moments after she tells him that. She would know, wouldn't she? She's seen him in the future, she knows what happens to him, at least to an extent. While it's a bit comforting, he still finds himself worried and afraid of what's in his head. Even if he gets through it all in the end, it's not going to be a fun process.
Instead of really answering, he just nods a few times, finding he hasn't really got any words to reply with. However, when Tex continues, his head lifts quickly--a surprised jerk of a movement, and he stares over at her like he almost can't believe what he just heard.
--It's not that he thinks anything bad about Texas he only has good things to say about her, it's that... He knows she's not much for this kind of stuff. Being there, helping people, talking... So hearing her offer that just...kind of blows his mind for a minute. ]
Really? --I mean, thanks. I appreciate that. Really.
[ And for a second, he's staring across at her with a smile--a real one. But for that second, she's not Texas, she's Allison. She's the love of his life.
Then he blinks, brows furrowing. No, wrong. She's Texas. She's a teammate and...maybe a friend. And he's not Leonard, he's Washington. Fuck. ]
But you don't... You don't have to do that. I-I know that's not your thing, really. [ Fuck again. He's stammering because he's shaken. That last memory... That whole thing has him more freaked out than he wants to let show. He keeps his face surprisingly composed, but his body is trembling slightly as he comes down from the shock. ] And I'd hate to-- To drag you into anything. You're not here to be my therapist.
[ But he's starting to think he should find one... ]
[ And that, right there, is why she was so reluctant to say that. She rolls her eyes at his initial reaction, giving him a flat look. And when his reaction after that is to low-key freak out, she purses the corners of her mouth and lets an exhale out her nose. ]
Yeah, you know. Do whatever you're going to do. I'm here; I said I'm willing.
[ She picks up her drink and drains the rest of it before setting the glass down. ]
I do know of someone on the ship who's doing hypnotherapy. Maybe that would help you. More than anything I could do, because yeah, you're right. I'm not exactly the best person to help you.
[ Especially with those looks he gives her from time to time. Those are pure, unadulterated looks of adoration and she knows exactly where they're coming from. It unnerves her, and she's not exactly thrilled at the idea of spending time with someone who is going to be letting that sort of emotion influence him. It's probably better if they stay apart, to be frank. ]
[ He nods quickly, still appreciating her offer, but getting that feeling that she's annoyed with him blabbering on like that. Still trembling, he balls up his hands in his lap and lets his gaze sit on the glass she's just set down. That's a safe place to look, right? To help him...straighten things out in his head. ]
Hypnotherapy? [ That has him glancing back up curiously. ] ...I don't know. I mean, it might. I've never really tried it before.
[ But he's never really had any reason before. And if this whole thing keeps up, these struggles in his head--and he doesn't see them going away just by sleeping them off tonight--he should probably be willing to give it a try. Plus, it would be more than anything Tex can do for him. She actually probably does more damage than help, inadvertently, and they probably should stay apart.
But he doesn't want that. He probably couldn't count the number of reasons why on just two hands, but he knows that at least one of them is his own, and it's because he wants to be her friend. ]
Maybe you could introduce us. ...Or even just give me their name and I can call their MID. I think it's probably worth a try, whether it ends up working or not.
[ He can kind of sense her tenseness, and it makes him feel bad, honestly. He knows he's the cause of it, and it kind of makes him want to slink away and leave her be. But of course, at the same time, he doesn't want to leave. ]
No.
[ He shakes his head and glances down at the contact information as his MID receives it. Making a note of it, planning to contact the guy sometime soon, he looks back across the table at Tex. ]
...It's getting late. I don't want to keep you here longer than I already have... [ yes he does ] Maybe we should call it a night.
action
She sighs. ]
I don't understand it all. I have to be honest about that. What was taken from him? What was left? I don't know.
action
[ Wash shakes his head; he assumed Epsilon was all of Alpha's memories. But if he still has some, at least of the Director's life and Tex... He has to wonder if those are just part of who Alpha is. Things that can't be taken away. Things that are just...in his programming. ]
Whatever the case, he's better off without what was taken.
[ He says it without really thinking, his voice still quiet as when he mentioned Allison. There's a concerned and slightly fearful look that crosses his face for a few moments, but then he manages to recompose and offer a shaky, rather bitter smile. ]
I feel like they might keep a person from functioning. Maybe even destroy them.
action
Whatever those memories have in them, I know you managed to push through.
[ She's not going to address the fact that Church is broken, and that's why he is without those memories. That doesn't seem much like a winning scenario to her. But at least he was able to protect himself. Washington didn't have that option, and so she needs to be understanding. ]
Anyway...if you need anything...I'll do what I can to help.
[ It's a bit reluctant, because yes, she's a bit mad at his future self for deciding to use an EMP on her, but holding that over his head wouldn't really be fair. ]
action
Instead of really answering, he just nods a few times, finding he hasn't really got any words to reply with. However, when Tex continues, his head lifts quickly--a surprised jerk of a movement, and he stares over at her like he almost can't believe what he just heard.
--It's not that he thinks anything bad about Texas
he only has good things to say about her, it's that... He knows she's not much for this kind of stuff. Being there, helping people, talking... So hearing her offer that just...kind of blows his mind for a minute. ]Really? --I mean, thanks. I appreciate that. Really.
[ And for a second, he's staring across at her with a smile--a real one. But for that second, she's not Texas, she's Allison. She's the love of his life.
Then he blinks, brows furrowing. No, wrong. She's Texas. She's a teammate and...maybe a friend. And he's not Leonard, he's Washington. Fuck. ]
But you don't... You don't have to do that. I-I know that's not your thing, really. [ Fuck again. He's stammering because he's shaken. That last memory... That whole thing has him more freaked out than he wants to let show. He keeps his face surprisingly composed, but his body is trembling slightly as he comes down from the shock. ] And I'd hate to-- To drag you into anything. You're not here to be my therapist.
[ But he's starting to think he should find one... ]
action
Yeah, you know. Do whatever you're going to do. I'm here; I said I'm willing.
[ She picks up her drink and drains the rest of it before setting the glass down. ]
I do know of someone on the ship who's doing hypnotherapy. Maybe that would help you. More than anything I could do, because yeah, you're right. I'm not exactly the best person to help you.
[ Especially with those looks he gives her from time to time. Those are pure, unadulterated looks of adoration and she knows exactly where they're coming from. It unnerves her, and she's not exactly thrilled at the idea of spending time with someone who is going to be letting that sort of emotion influence him. It's probably better if they stay apart, to be frank. ]
action
[ He nods quickly, still appreciating her offer, but getting that feeling that she's annoyed with him blabbering on like that. Still trembling, he balls up his hands in his lap and lets his gaze sit on the glass she's just set down. That's a safe place to look, right? To help him...straighten things out in his head. ]
Hypnotherapy? [ That has him glancing back up curiously. ] ...I don't know. I mean, it might. I've never really tried it before.
[ But he's never really had any reason before. And if this whole thing keeps up, these struggles in his head--and he doesn't see them going away just by sleeping them off tonight--he should probably be willing to give it a try. Plus, it would be more than anything Tex can do for him. She actually probably does more damage than help, inadvertently, and they probably should stay apart.
But he doesn't want that. He probably couldn't count the number of reasons why on just two hands, but he knows that at least one of them is his own, and it's because he wants to be her friend. ]
Maybe you could introduce us. ...Or even just give me their name and I can call their MID. I think it's probably worth a try, whether it ends up working or not.
action
Have you had any chance to try?
[ She doesn't know what would be the most helpful, but they have to make due with what's available here.
In any case, she flicks her finger across her MID and sends Wash Ocelot's contact information. ]
action
No.
[ He shakes his head and glances down at the contact information as his MID receives it. Making a note of it, planning to contact the guy sometime soon, he looks back across the table at Tex. ]
...It's getting late. I don't want to keep you here longer than I already have... [
yes he does] Maybe we should call it a night.action
Yeah. You've had a lot to take in.
[ She finishes her drink and rises. ]
Let me know how things work out with the therapy.