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She's so glad York is accepting. She's run into other people who seemed to be shaming her, or making fun of her, for her choice to remain with him. She knows Ryuuzaki is an unusual man with strange quirks, but she loves him for those things as much as anything else.

"York, honestly. I keep needing to remind myself there's no such thing as destiny because I'm so over the moon all the time with the way things have turned out between us."

As she speaks, her smile is spreading. She's usually more restrained with emoting, but she feels it's okay to show this side of things with York, of all people.

"It's like I can't get enough of him. Even touching him, like holding him in bed in the morning before getting up—I don't ever want to leave."

She looks back at the TAB.

"You're talking about Carolina, I'm guessing?"

He's accepting and he's happy for her. It doesn't matter to him that Ryuuzaki is a bit quirky, or from another world -- love is love and he just hopes that the guy feels for Tex as much as she seems to feel for him.

"I need to get to know him better, really. He just seems... private." And weird. But York can work with that.

She talks about holding her boyfriend and York remembers the night Carolina spent in his bed recently, holding his hand. How he never wanted to let go of it, either. How great it was to wake up and see her face as the first thing. Yeah. He gets it.

"...I'm talking about Carolina. Even if we're not there yet." They might never be, but he has hope. "It's like I've gotten a second chance? To reach out again. And she's... actually reaching back this time."

"Yeah. That's why I don't hate this place like a lot of people seem to."

She got a chance to find her own way in life, which she wouldn't have had otherwise. It seems similar for him.

Her smile softens a bit, merely because it had been so bright moments before.

"He is private. Very much so. But he knows we're good friends. I doubt he'd push you away, knowing that."

She pushes a hand through the front of her hair.

"I hope you and Carolina didn't have to deal with one another's shadows, during this whole mess."

"I don't hate it here. But you know my alternative."

York nods at the information about Ryuuzaki -- he'll have to try again. "You think I could talk him into dinner with just us? I'll give him the shovel talk."

His grin fades when shadows come up.

"Mine attacked her. Beat her pretty bad the first time she ran into it, but we already talked about how everything it said was bullshit... my death wasn't her fault and she. Well. She knows that, at least intellectually. Feelings sometimes take awhile to come around." He tries to recover his smile. "And hey, we're still doing breakfast dates. Clothing optional. I feel like things will be okay."

Tex has never told York the nature of her relationship—if it can be called that—to Carolina, but she has a vague sense she doesn't need to know too much about their personal life because of that connection. It actually leaves her slightly uncomfortable to know a detail that personal, despite the fact that York is basically her best friend. But she leaves that unstated, merely looking vaguely embarrassed for a moment.

"That sounds fun," she finally offers.

And as it is, York has no idea about Carolina and Tex's relationship beyond their Freelancer rivalry. Or either of their true identities. He might have kept that detail to himself, had he known, but to him he was just talking to a good friend about the woman he's in love with.

York's smile does come back, then, as he laughs a little. "It is fun. I didn't think take you for a prude, Tex. Don't worry, I keep my hands to myself."

For now he is, at least.

"...we do need to talk, though. After what I said to kill my shadow."

She snickers and raises an eyebrow. "I think I'm the last person you could accuse of being a prude." It's just a little weird talking about Carolina being the target of his interest is all.

But he changes the subject and she tilts her head with interest. "What did you say?"

"Really? You looked embarrassed for a second." He wouldn't understand why it's weird, and she probably doesn't want to elaborate. But he moves on smoothly enough.

"That I loved her. That I'd always loved her and still did, really... but that it was okay if she'd let me go. And she... said she hasn't. She still has my lighter and everything. I told her nothing had to change and she was about to say something else, but then my shadow showed up and cut her off." He looks a little sheepish, now, shrugging one shoulder. "I haven't brought it up again."

She looks wistful now. "I'm sure it'll come up again," she says. "If it's important."

She doesn't want to elaborate about why she would be embarrassed hearing about him and Carolina hanging around in a state of undress, so it works out that he's moved on.

Edited (read wrong) 2017-08-18 12:35 (UTC)

"It's important. To me, anyway, and I'm sure she knows that."

A beat.

"...I mean, she has to know that, right?"

"After a conversation like that? Yeah, I think so."

She pauses, gazing off to the side, smiling a small smile again.

"You know, I was the one who said those words first between me and Ryuuzaki. I kind of think they're trite, you know, but...I mean, how else is someone going to know?"

She reaches up and rubs her cheek.

"Though I only said it because I thought he was asleep, so..."

She chuckles weakly.

"The thing is that he's even worse about it than I am. I was thinking of leaving because he'd never said it back, and then we ended up with mind-reading powers back when everyone was getting each other's powers and he just thought it to himself randomly, that he loves me."

Her hand moves to her throat, stroking with the backs of her fingers thoughtfully.

"He couldn't look me in the face to say it afterwards. He's so private..."

The smile has faded from her face, and she's left looking contemplative.

"I don't expect her to feel it or say it back, I just want to know where we are. Kind of... get an idea of the trajectory we're on, you know?"

That's one hell of a way to find out your partner loves you back, though, and he wonders what it would be like to find out that way. Especially when you were thinking of breaking up because you'd never heard it. He doesn't think the words are so important... that if they were together that's all that would matter to him.

He draws breath to say that when he notices Tex's smile is gone.

"Hey. What's wrong?"

"I just wish I would have known without needing to read his mind, that's all." She sighs. "It shouldn't be that important, I guess. It's just if I'm going to his home world with him... Well, it is. It is that important."

York considers that, how much weight he should put on her shoulders rather than his.

"Do you think you ever could have known, without hearing the words? Because in a way... that's on you as much as it is him. When someone loves you, it's about what they do way more than what they say."

She nods slowly. "He shows it. Every time he looks at me."

A smile creeps back to the corner of her mouth.

"It's funny about being able to read his mind though. He thinks a lot of stuff he doesn't say. Stuff about me being sexy and how lucky he is."

"Then why do you think you still need to hear it?" he asks curiously. Why does it matter so much?

"...that stuff must have been nice to know."

"I don't know. Maybe it's because..."

She frowns.

"Church said it to me. Before he disappeared that first time."

She looks down, looking at her hand as she drags her finger along the seat cushion, making swirls in the upholstery.

"I don't mean to, but I compare them a lot, in my head."

York nods, thinking he understands a bit more now. He hasn't exactly had many relationships, but with important ones like this... he can imagine that you would compare the important things. The big things.

"What was he like? Church?"

Her expression doesn't change, and she continues to mess with the fabric of the couch as she speaks.

"Outwardly? He's such an asshole. His memories are messed up, you know, from the torture, so he thinks we're exes. Instead of remembering what really happened, he remembers me leaving him to enlist."

A pause.

"I've never told him any different. And I don't think he forgives me for that. Leaving him to fight the war, I mean. He's always sniping at me. Calling me a bitch. Pointing out my flaws."

She blows out a harsh sigh.

"It's all a cover-up though, you know. So he doesn't hurt like he would over it. I don't really blame him for that. We all have our ways of coping, right?"

She stops swirling the fabric of the couch and crosses her arms across her lap, looking out over the top of the TAB.

"I've never explained to him what really happened, but before the EMP, he learned more details from Washington. And he asked me questions, but...it was still kind of always there, this history between us that his false memories have conjured up."

Her lip curls wryly.

"Anyway. When he's here, all we do is fight. It's like he always knows exactly the worst thing to say that'll piss me off. And then I expect Ryuuzaki to act like that, and he always chooses the perfect thing to say to cool me off, instead. I'll be gearing up to fight and he just...defuses the whole thing with one sentence."

She glances back at the TAB's camera.

"Last night was our first fight, really, because of that. After months of being together, that was the first one."

York listens carefully, filing all the information away -- he sounds different from Carolina's version of Church, at least a bit. But not like a bad person, for being an asshole. And he's Tex's asshole. You can put up with a lot when you love someone.

But then they're talking about Ryuuzaki again, someone who's actually here that York still needs to get to know, and his expression gets a little sharper. Their first fight. York's mouth curves into a gentle smile.

"And you made it through. Good for you guys."

"Yeah. I kind of worry a little bit that he takes fighting too seriously, actually. Too..." She fumbles for words for a moment. "...personally."

She shrugs.

"I just told him fighting's not the end of the world."

"Well... it isn't. As long it isn't a constant thing and as you make up after." He grins a little. "Sometimes that's the fun part. Was it the fun part?"

She snickers. "Well, I'd been fighting shadows all day that day, so we just got in bed and I conked out. I presented that to him though, as a reason fighting isn't so bad."

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