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1. No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.

2. I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically

3. he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell. engineering majors are such efficient drunks.

4. new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.

5. Text her!

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