TFLN Responses

[a_shadow]

This is for responses to the weekly TFLN meme. Feel free to browse the comments below and respond to any!

Comments

[a_shadow]

1. pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point

2. how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?

3. Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.

4. you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.

5. Text her!

2

[originalcopy]

Where did you get handcuffs?

3

[the_informant]

well there is a very serious difference between the two.
who is winning?

[a_shadow]

1. You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.

2. sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.

3. see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it

4. My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss

5. Text her!

[a_shadow]

1. Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?

2. I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse

3. stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.

4. you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.

5. Text her!

4

[originalcopy]

It was a long day at the lab. The beers probably didn't help.


You have really comfortable boobs by the way.

1

[eyefordisaster]

Do you realize that that is probably the best drunk idea either of us has ever had?

1

[highinthemiddle]

Literally the only thing I remember is how mad I was that he wouldn't let me drive.

2

[bloodbathing]

Welcome.

[a_shadow]

1. Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"

2. I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong

3. Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet

4. What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours. It's pretty much my favorite thing ever

5. Text her!

3

[whyarewehere]

i'm going to assume it's something to do with dating church. I already know he's done time.

[a_shadow]

1. The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.

2. I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?

3. stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.

4. i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober

5. Text her!

2

[grifballsux]

Uh, you mean my fucking dream in life since I was like, 6?

Fuckin hell yes I'm in.

[a_shadow]

1. He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but instead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.

2. She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle

3. I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.

4.We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why video was invented

5. Text her!

1

[ourcurrency]

Ah, romance. Honestly, that sounds more fun.

[a_shadow]

1. He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job

2. he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.

3. Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.

4. You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final

5. Text her!

2

[duel_wielding]

Sometimes I wonder how York manages to stay so high ranked. But I find myself agreeing with you.

1

[callada]

Guess that depends on what your goals are, though, right? Could be a new assassination technique.

((;D just happened to spot you while scrolling through!))

[a_shadow]

1. The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.

2. hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win

3. I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.

4. just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.

5. Text her!

4 / 3

[originalcopy]

You have got to be fucking kidding me.

You're not getting another 40 minutes out of this one either.

[a_shadow]

1. you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.

2. you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved

3. I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.

4. There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.

5. Text her!

2

[the_informant]

Well those definitely get in the way of a good tie me up and spank me evening.

[a_shadow]

1. No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up. 

2. I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically

3. he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell. engineering majors are such efficient drunks.

4. new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.

5. Text her!

3.

[uptightness]

So. He taped pillows to himself.

[a_shadow]

1. I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.

2. I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.

3. If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.

4. you know that annoying guy at HQ? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to this briefing.

5. Text her!

3

[myagents]

You mentioned not remembering your relationships during our latest counseling session. Are you uncovering new memories?

[a_shadow]

1. I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8

2. Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas

3. This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in a briefing and looked at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be

4. If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my basebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone

5. Text her!

1

[duel_wielding]

Negotiated, or threatened?

[a_shadow]

1. I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle

2. I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS

3. The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome

4. Next time you're in town we should fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.

5. Text her!