a_shadow: (Not what I'm hearing)
Agent Texas ([personal profile] a_shadow) wrote 2017-12-16 12:19 am (UTC)

1. He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but instead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.

2. She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle

3. I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.

4.We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why video was invented

5. Text her!

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