a_shadow | Databurst IC Contact

[ Her response is quieter. ]

I know.

But Church...that wasn't you.

I know that! I'm not a fucking idiot!

[He sighs and runs his hands through his hair. When he speaks again, his voice is softer.]

I know.

[As tempted as he is to finish the beer, he picks up the coffee.]

How do you deal with it? Remembering things that never happened?

[ Her expression softens. ]

Well. I don't know that I handle it very well. I try to do what I can to fix things, but it hasn't worked.

I don't even know where my real memories start and the fake ones end.

[He knows it not a clean line. No solid division between truth and fiction.]

[ She looks him in the eye, then glances away. ]

I don't know how important it is to work that out, exactly.

[ A sip of coffee. ]

I will say that when I showed up in the Gulch and you were calling me your ex, that kind of surprised me. But I think that came from how I tried to rescue you—I told you we used to be together.

Maybe it isn't...

[He shrugs noncommittally. Aren't memories supposed to be an integral part of who you are?]

Well... I guess that technically counts?

[He gives her a wan smile.]

Yeah.

[ She ponders that, then sighs. ]

It was probably better that you thought that, anyway.

[ Her beer is almost empty; she lifts it and drains the dregs of the glass. ]

Probably.

[It does make him wonder what exactly they are to each other... if anything. But on the long list of things they should talk about, he's not sure he wants to broach that particularly awkward subject just yet.

He takes a deep breath and follows her lead in finishing his beer.]

What happened? When you tried to rescue me, I mean...

[ She frowns, remembering it. ]

You were just...shattered. You didn't remember anything about anything. I had to leave you behind.

I've been trying to figure out what my first real memory is.

[Where HE starts.]

I don't remember it.

[He doesn't know it, but that meeting was the catalyst for him attempting to recover/reconstruct whatever he could of himself.]

I doubt you'll be able to work it out, to be honest. I don't know when my real memories begin either. They...

[ She swallows. ]

...did something to my programming, so I didn't notice I wasn't eating or sleeping during the Project. But as soon as I found CT's evidence, it was obvious what was going on.

You mean they didn't... Oh...

[He looks at his hands awkwardly for a second.]

That's... seriously fucked up.

Nope.

[ She picks up the rest of her coffee to finish. ]

You're right about that.

They, uh... I had a body.

[ She doesn't respond to this, just looks at him with some confusion as she drinks a sip of the coffee. ]

When I said Caboose killed me...

[He swallows hard. With everything O'Malley had tried to do and the Meta, it feels super uncomfortable to talk about. But at the same time he wants her to understand. He doesn't want her to see him as some sad, broken, idiot who just decided to delusional.]

I don't know if it was a flash clone or a guy in a coma, or... something. But I had a body.

[God he hopes it was a flash clone.]

[ Her eyes widen for a second, then narrow with a flash of anger. ]

That asshole...!

...yeah...

[He's had some heavy shit to variously try to process and actively avoid. Like, sure... he's an asshole, he freely admits it. And yes, he's borrowed people's bodies... but keeping it...]

Hey. I don't know about you, but I could use another drink.

[He tries to sound like he's totally not bothered while he gets up. Just any other perfectly normal conversation.]

You want one?

[ She definitely doesn't protest. ]

A whiskey and cola, please.

[He taps the table with a knuckle.]

Sure thing.

[He'll get himself the same. He briefly considers getting himself a shot too, but decides against it. Probably a good idea to pace himself. Technically he's never had alcohol before... which is a really weird thought given what he remembers.

Fuck. Maybe he should do it anyway.]

[ When he returns with an extra shot in addition to their two glasses, she raises an eyebrow. ]

You've done this here before, right?

What, here? I had a couple of beers at the party.

[But that was spread out over the night and definitely wasn't the knock-you-on-your-ass kind of alcohol. So yeah.]

Well, technically two and a half. CT spilled one.

((ooc: I did a dumb and forgot about the party... Those beers don't count. XD ))

[ She continues to watch him with a raised eyebrow, accepting her glass and then taking a sip of the drink inside. ]

What?

[He doesn't have to 'know' that look to know that look.]

I'm not planning on getting shitfaced.

[He gives a thoughtful look as he sips. Comparing the moment to the memories of it.]

[ She snickers. ]

Oh, well, then that makes it just fine.

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